My life is perfect

“These are times that try women’s souls,” I thought during a recent foray into the internet wilderness.  I admit that I am not a big user of social media.  As an introvert, it just doesn’t feel comfortable to me.

Give me a small chat room with two other people I know, no problem.  But the big wide-open world of texts, posts, and tweets and I want to run and hide.

But the reality of our connected world demands that to find out what family and friends are doing that I need to wade into the waters every once in a while.  During a recent scroll, I was struck, as I am each time, how perfect everyone’s world is these days.  Especially the women I know.

Perfect vacations, perfect children, perfect partner, perfect life, and the incredible perfection of the profile shot.  As I look up from my computer into the kitchen where dirty dishes await, into the eyes of my dog, who impatiently awaits to go outside and hear the voices of my children as they interact with their screens but not me, I wonder where did I go wrong?

Is everyone’s life as perfect as they make it appear online?  Am I the only one who struggles at times?  Of course, I know that things aren’t as perfect as they appear.  But this endless pursuit of perfection can drain our souls.

I recently ran into a friend, and as I asked about her life, she responded to every inquiry that things were wonderful.  She never stopped smiling during the whole conversation.  The only problem with the smile is that it is only her mouth.  Her eyes never picked up on the happiness that she emoted.

There was no way she was going to admit to any flaw in her life, even if her face was going to crack from that smile.

I left our encountered a bit mystified and saddened by her display.  Is perfection the new busy?  “How are you?” used to be responded by “You know, busy, busy, busy” as if the one who was the busiest won.  Now it seems to be responding that “My life is perfect” is the new goal that everyone reaches for.

Not only is that goal unattainable, but it is especially damaging for women.  We are doing yoga, taking Botox treatments, getting mani-pedis, cooking gourmet meals, monitoring the children, receiving the promotion, planning stellar vacations, striving to look like models, and trying to be alluring in bed.

All in the name of perfection.  It is working for our souls and our bodies and wallets.  And there seems to be no end.

I admit that the competitive side of me itches to post the one summer photo of me which the light softened my wrinkles, and my gray hair is lost in the background as my profile pic and upstage my high school rival.  But that kind of one-upmanship doesn’t solve the problem.

See also: 5 questions should never ask a woman

I am not going to change the world of social media by posting, “Come on, ladies!  It’s time, to be honest about our lives!  Let it all hang out!”.  But I do try to make choices to change my corner of the world and show that real perfection comes from embracing your imperfection.

By: Linda Potter